Monday, 18 December 2017

Have You Not Met Anyone Yet?

December 18, 2017 0 Comments
2017 begins to draw to a close and it's officially the end of my first ever semester at university! Assignment week last week had me moving in permanently to the library and after a very stressful few days, I am so thankful to be back in my own town, my own home and my own bed. Being home has made me feel especially Christmas-sy, with decorations being put up and family from near and far making appearances. It's such a lovely feeling to be able to relax and enjoy myself without the stress of outstanding coursework looming. 

Those of you who know me will know that I have been single for a little over six months now and I am thoroughly enjoying focusing on myself and my self-love. However, as lovely as being at home for Christmas is, the extra family members and extra love that's flying around the place came with those awkward little questions.

"Any men on the scene, Mhairi?"

"Surely, you've found yourself a handsome, young fella down in Winchester?"

"How's the love life?"

"Have you not met anyone new yet?"
  
This being the first Christmas I have been single for for a while, the questions took me by surprise to say the least. What am I supposed to answer to that? "No, Auntie Rachel, I don't have a boyfriend, but I do rather enjoy a drunken snog every once in a while!" Somehow, I can't see this going down too well, it was clear that I needed to have something scripted for this sort of awkward encounter over the festive period. 

I thought about lying, fabricating this dream boat I had hiding down in Winchester just to avoid the tragic-ness that is my single-dom. However, I decided against this option due to the likelihood of people asking to see pictures, or messages or (GOD FORBID) meet this fragment of my imagination. No, that was not the way to approach this one. 



It dawned on me that, despite feeling so crappy and alone sometimes, there was actually nothing to be ashamed of by being single, especially at my age. I'm only nineteen for Christ's sake! As I said earlier, I am greatly enjoying learning to love myself and put myself first for once. No longer am I having to work around two schedules when it comes to planning my week, I don't have to think about anyone else if I want to run off and do something spontaneous and reckless. I am enjoying my freedom, this new found love of myself and, most importantly, the extra time I am spending with those people that have always been there and always will, "my day ones". I am loving getting drunk and silly with my friends, dancing the night away to trashy music in the student union without the worry of what the other half might think. I am enjoying having movie nights and sleepovers on the daily with people I had been turning down in favour of spending the night with my partner. 

After a lot of contemplating, I came to the conclusion that I was not ashamed, and should anyone ask me this December where my new man is, I shall simply say. "My other half is me, I'm loving spending time with myself at the moment"

Females are strong as hell, bad-ass bitches. Why did society decide we needed anyone else to have a bright and fulfilling life? Believe in your inner Beyonce, prove that you're just fine on your own. 
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Wednesday, 13 December 2017

A "Me" Weekend

December 13, 2017 0 Comments
The last two weeks at university have been tough, to say the least. With the stresses of assignment deadlines, falling deeper into the overdraft and clashes of personalities, I found myself stuck in a mental health lull, shutting myself away in my room and only coming out occasionally for food. The beautiful city of Winchester no longer seemed beautiful and exciting to me and, instead, seemed grey, dull and 100% not where I wanted to be. It came to one dreary Thursday evening when an argument with a peer tipped me over the edge and I found myself sobbing down the phone to my mother begging her to come get me in the middle of the night, take me home and never let me go to university again. In my mind, everything was over, this life I had chosen for myself was all wrong and I just wanted out. 
And that's how I ended up back here, in my small hometown in Buckinghamshire, surrounded by family, friends and, most importantly, my beloved Irish Terrier, Murphy. I spent the weekend watching movies, catching up on assignments and getting some much needed TLC from my family. I caught up with old friends who encouraged me that it was all going to be alright and that I was loved by so many people. This weekend has been just what I needed to keep me going and working toward the degree that I love. 
Despite the confidence boost, however, I am utterly and completely dreading going back. The thought of being back to feeling so lonely and hurt in my draughty little room terrifies me. But, this weekend has reminded me that home is just a train ride or a phone call away and if I'm finding it too difficult, it's never too long until the next visit home. University is full of friends and people who love me- something I need to remind myself more often. Instead of focusing on the bad, I am learning to focus on the good. I live in a beautiful city, with friends all around me, doing a degree that will let me do the career I have dreamed of. It's because of this that I'm forcing myself to keep going, the bad days can only be followed with good.
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Wednesday, 22 November 2017

Things I Learnt In My First Semester of University

November 22, 2017 0 Comments

Those of you who know me will know that this September I became a first year or "fresher" at the University of Winchester, studying Events Management. For me, as with many others, this was a bit of a shock to the system, from becoming "independent" to independent. I put the first independent in quotation marks because, when living at home with your parents, you think you're Miss Independent and can survive on your own. I have now learnt I was not and can not. 

 Suddenly, I found myself faced with the challenges of paying rent, managing budgets, food shopping, treks to laundry (I have never felt lucky for having a washing machine at my feet at home before now) whilst also battling assignments, subject reading, meeting new people and moving across the country. 

 As well as course content, naturally, I found myself learning a plethora of "life skills" and other tidbits of knowledge that I will never need anywhere else other than higher level education. I have comprised this down to a list of what I think the most important lessons I have learnt in my first semester of university.

 1 - Freshers Flu is Very Real 
You know when you're older sibling or friend from the year above tells you how ill you're going to get when you first turn up to university and you just laugh it off and say "not me"? Yeah, they were 100% correct. Being the incredibly lucky person I am, I developed a cold two weeks prior to university and, therefore, essentially turned up with freshers flu. Nine weeks, two rounds of antibiotics and a chest x-ray later and I am still coughing away.

 2 - Pre-Drink Just Enough
Pre drinking. A concept adopted by university students all over the world as a way of making a night out just that cheaper. The idea is buying cheap booze from a supermarket and necking it before you go to save you money on buying drinks when out. However, KNOW YOUR LIMITS! A mistake I have made on many occasions, where I have downed way more than I know I can handle and have ended up either not making it out or being thrown out of the club for being drunken and disorderly (in my defence this has only happened twice in Winchester). The moral of the story is - drink enough to save money but not an amount that'll make your night end early.

 3 - Give Yourself Some "Me Time"
Within a few weeks of moving to Winchester, I found myself flooded with assignments, extra reading and notes to type out and I found it somewhat overwhelming. There were moments when I thought "what the hell have I gotten myself into, I'm way over my head here" - there are still moments now that I convince myself I'm quitting. The importance and significance of "me time" becomes ever more prevalent here. So, go on, make a cuppa, put on a Kardashian's repeat and some fairy lights and relax. 

 4 - Your Flatmates Might Not Be Your Family - That's OK
Before starting university, you imagine your flatmates and how close you will all be and it's exciting. In reality, as I found, this may not be the case. My flat are lovely, don't get me wrong, but they are not the family I had hoped for. When it comes down to it, university is full of opportunities to meet new people and make your own family. It's OK not to have a "bond-for-life" flat family, as lovely as your flatmates may be, if you don't click, you don't click and there is nothing wrong with that.

 5 - UK Universities Think They're American
Sometimes I feel a little bit like I'm an extra in Legally Blonde or Sydney White or So Undercover with the way things are Americanised here. Suddenly a term becomes a "semester", football becomes "soccer" and cheer-leading becomes the predominant sport for females instead of hockey or netball. I'm unsure whether this is just my university or all universities but it's a gimmick that I am yet to grow fond of.

 6 - Hills Can Replace A Gym Membership
As it turns out, my halls are at the bottom of a very steep hill and, you guessed it, my lectures and classes are at the very top of said hill. Trekking up and down this hill 3/4 times a day has really begun to get me into shape, saving me some sweet money on a gym membership that I would probably would never have used anyway. Hooray for Winchester and it's hills!

 7 - Those £3/4 Coffees Add Up
"Ooh I'll just pop into Costa." Words that should not be uttered from a students mouth because TRUST ME those £3/4 add up. I'm not going to sit here and do the maths but just say you have 2 coffees a week, 52 weeks in the year...you get the picture. 

 8 - BUDGET
I can not stress this enough, wrote down your budget, your weekly expenditure, factor in for emergencies (*cough* or that extra night out *cough*) and DO NOT GO OVER. This is advice that I desperately need to follow so I don't see myself sinking deeper into the hole. (Sorry Father, I'm really trying) 

 And there we have it, eight lessons I never expected to learn at university but did and the end of my very first blog post.

 Mhairi x




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